Rays of Life

A work in progress.

Category: Friend or Foe

During the tough times.

Read this line and it made me think…

Never forget who was there for you when no one else was.

I do believe in what others say that you will get to know the real color of the people around you when you are at the toughest times of your life. You will be able to tell you are real to you, who your true friends are.

How can I say such?

Experiencing it now! These are tough times for me because I am struggling financially. I am also at a period in my life when I need people to talk to. But those with whom I am close to? Definitely not around!

Makes me appreciate May more. She is the only friend I have who has always been there for me no matter what. She’s the only friend I can remember being there for me during the toughest times of my life.

I pray I have more Mays in my life. I do have M, J, K… Hoping they will stay true.

Trapped in a man’s body…

Coco
Corrina Isabelle

I was once friends with a woman who felt like she was trapped in a man’s body. She was a lesbian. She was one of the kindest persons I knew, a person who was always there when I needed someone to talk to. We used to live near each other and I could be found hanging out at her place. Her mother was one of the kindest souls in this planet, always showing a tough exterior, most of the time sounded like she wanted to scold us for being too noisy, but she was always concerned, always involved, always had a kind word or two to me.

Isabelle was always with Peach, an older girl who was her girlfriend. I used to think that Isabelle’s mom knew about her and Peach but the former allowed them to have sleepovers so who knew.

Back in the day, it was still frowned on to be gay or lesbian. It was not like now when members of the LGBTQ+ community are openly accepted by most everyone. Isabelle and I studied in a prestigious Catholic university so you can only imagine how the school was to them. But, I, along with six of our friends, accepted Isabelle for who she was.

We had a falling out, not due to conflicts or anything but distance. We just drifted apart. I saw her once at Ortigas. We were both working already then and she was so very different from the Isabelle that I knew. Still with a sweet smile, I believe still kind, but I felt the gap between us. It just wasn’t the same.

But I will remember Isabelle, the one trapped in a man’s body, one of my closest friends in college, with fondness.

Washed ashore…

I used to think my name was unique. I remember asking my mom where she got it and was told that it was from a list of American baby names. Cute.

When I checked the result of my college entrance examination results, I saw another person with the same name as mine. Wow. First time. What a coincidence that we have the same names and we belong to the same class! I thought to myself that I would get to know her, maybe be friends with her.

It happened. We became friends. There were eight of us. Maroneth, Coco, Julie, Rainelle, Elsa, Ethel, Sherry and Sherry. College became so much more fun and interesting because I found a group of friends who were as kooky and studious as me.

Of the eight of us, Coco and Maroneth were the independent ones. They were also friends with so many other students that, often, the six of us would be left to hang out after classes. Of the six of us left, Julie and Rainelle were closer to each other while Ethel, Sherry and I were bonded more. Elsa was the fifth wheel, always hanging out with either Julie and Rainelle or with the three of us. But the six of us were definitely always hanging out together as well.

I have other friends in college but my best friends were Ethel and Sherry. In my book, best friends hang out at each others’ houses, share the utmost secrets among each other, jive in so many things they have in common, and even talk about the most intimate things. The three of us did that all those times we were together.

shore

College ended and real life began. I was grateful that nothing changed. Ethel, Sherry and I became closer, even if we only get to see each other on weekends, sometimes even after two weeks. We still hang out at each others’ houses and talk on the phone until the wee hours of the night.

But one incident led to the break-up of what was the most beautiful kind of friendship I’ve ever had… it was work-related and, well, one thing led to another I just found myself isolated from both of them. I refused to talk to them when they were reaching out because I was hurt and scared and a lot of things were swirling in my mind then. Emotions were so high and fragile I thought I’d take a break from it all before speaking to them again.

Our friendship was never the same after that period. Actually, our friendship went kaput. We stopped talking to each other. It was like there never was a friendship between all of us. Even with Elsa, Rainelle and Julie. Coco became an acquaintance, so was Maroneth. The last five persons I was okay to not be friends with anymore. But with Ethel and Sherry…

It was like water sharply lapping at the shore, washing away all remnants of the past.

I miss them. Even after all this time, I miss the two of them so bad. They were my real best friends who were there when I was down and out. There were the ones who listened and never judged.

There are days when I wish I could turn back time to correct the mistakes I did. One of it was my friendship with them.

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