bare-back

Whenever I hear the song Sweet Home Alabama, it brings back that one night at the cinema, when I was with the person I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. It just gives me all the feels…

He was a professor in Psychology. I didn’t think I’d like him because he was not good-looking, to be quite honest about it. He wasn’t my type. But, I guess, he made me realize that I dig the professor-smart-nerdy guys. I fell for him, just after a couple of conversations. I started dreaming of a life with him, even going as far as dreaming of a kid or two.

What I haven’t said yet was he was a married guy. Separated, but still married. He had one kid who was a tween back then. I also remember already planning on how to become a good stepmom to his daughter.

We were planning on living in. He would introduce me to his parents while I would introduce him to mine. He said that there would be no problem with his parents because they already knew that he was looking for someone, that he was ready to fall in love again. Mine was the problem because I knew my parents didn’t want me to marry yet. I was in my 20’s, then. They also would not want me to be with a married guy, no matter the legality of his separation with his wife. I was willing to do everything to make them accept him, our situation. If not, I was preparing myself to be disowned.

I was that in love with him that I was willing to throw away everything to be with him.

I will forever be grateful for small miracles in my life.

I was let go of the company I was working at.
I learned that he “cheated” on me with his ex-wife. Or, technically, wife.
I also learned that he hid so many things from me including his life in the province.

So many small things came to light.

And, one after another, it triggered my “awareness” of my worth.

I deserve someone better.

I have bared my body and soul to the wrong person, fell in love and got my heart broken. But it was time to let go and move on.

It took me a while before I finally did but I was able to do it.

Now, it all boiled down to that one night in the cinema where the song was an omen of sorts, telling me that I should be wary of the guy I was with. He was not meant to be with me.